This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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