shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
