Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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