Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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