So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
