I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize