Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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