Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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