is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
