My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
