i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize