Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
