What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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