What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
