I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
