I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
i just made my gag reflex go away.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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