you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
i came on her dog
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
