it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
