I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
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