there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
