he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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