she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
