Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
This is my life. Enjoy the view
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
