Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
They have beer where we have blood.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
