gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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