I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
