Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
My dick has a subreddit
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
