Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
