you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
