google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
