Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Even my vagina gasped.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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