Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
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