she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
