John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
