12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
