Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
