I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
