twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I fill condoms, not promises.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
my nose is crying tears of wow.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
