I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
is it fun? or sober?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
