hell yes lets make some ravioli
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
