Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize