I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
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