Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
