is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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