i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
