she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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