if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
