so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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