Little spoons don't ask big questions
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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