I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
smell my finger.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Randomize
