the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
