Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
