Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
