He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize