dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
