so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
