it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Randomize
