i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
