Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
