Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
