can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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