I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
