this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
