hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
