Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
we made out on top of his cat.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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