my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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