Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
only if we run a train.
done.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
