Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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