I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
