If i come over, it means nothing
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
