whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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