found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Swine flu is the new snow day.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
