i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
